


Heavier Than Heavenly

by lilyofthevallies



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: AU, F/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:54:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26732446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyofthevallies/pseuds/lilyofthevallies
Summary: Part of her was scolding her, a "Really Rory? Is this who you are now?" Playing in her mind. But the other part, the far less rational part, was rolling its eyes and biting back with "Isn’t this what you wanted?"Yes.Rory and Jess go on a road trip the summer between Rory's freshman and sophomore year at Yale. Title is from Lana Del Rey's "On Our Way".
Relationships: Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	1. Mouth With A Mind of Its Own

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, title is from Lana's unreleased song "On Our Way". If you haven't listened to it yet, I highly suggest it.

"Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine

And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time"

Snow Patrol, Open Your Eyes

_“No!”_

It was like Rory was seeing herself from above, screaming at her mouth to _shut up_ but couldn’t quite make it listen. She watched as Jess’ face fell, watched as he turned around, watched as his body moved across the room and out the door. She sat down and put her head in her hands.

_Wait._

She didn’t know if she had actually said that out loud, but it didn’t matter, he couldn’t have heard her even if she had. But she needed him to hear it. She shot up and her legs carried her out the door with a speed she didn’t know she possessed, almost crashing into him at the end of the hall with her momentum. 

“When?”

Jess didn’t turn around, but had stopped walking as she moved a few steps away from him again. He stayed silent for a few beats, a few _torturous, long_ beats, before finally finding a shaky voice to push a small “What?” out of his mouth.

“When would we leave?” she asked, trying not to lose her nerve. He turned around then and looked her straight in the eyes with a gaze so intense it nearly overwhelmed her. She took a breathe and continued. “Mom’s inn is doing a test run really soon. I can’t just leave her now.”

“Whenever you’d want to,” Jess said, taking a single step in her direction.

“And I have to come back. You can’t- you can’t just expect me to leave Yale, leave my _life_ forever.”

Jess smiled a bit. “I know. I don’t.”

Rory looked down at her feet for a few seconds, trying to process. Part of her was scolding her, a _Really Rory? Is this who you are now?_ Playing in her mind. But the other part, the far less rational part, was rolling its eyes and biting back with _Isn’t this what you wanted?_

_Yes._

“So… the summer, then?” Rory asked, looking up again. “It could be fun,” she added, grinning a little.

“Yeah, yeah. The summer, summer sounds good,” Jess replied, a little stunned. 

“So, I’ll see you soon?” Rory said suddenly, and Jess nodded before heading out the doors. This time, as Rory watched him leave, her heart fluttered a bit in a way that was wonderful and terrifying and confusing all at once.

Rory was in her house, rummaging through some CDs she thought her mother would deem appropriate. She had managed to avoid Dean with near perfect success, which was no easy feat. She heard a knock from the back door and opened it absent mindedly, but had to remind herself to breathe when she saw the face looking back at her.

“Hey,” Jess said.

“Uh, hi,” Rory said, her voice a little shaky. “How’d you know I was here here?”

“Figured you’d either be here or the inn, and I wanted to check here first,” Jess said, smiling a bit. “Can I…”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Rory said, stepping aside to let him in before closing the door again. “Do you want to help me find some CDs for the Dragonfly? I have a few picked out, but I could use your expertise.”

Jess followed her into her bedroom, and almost felt uncomfortable. “Your room looks the same,” he commented.

“Yeah, I tried that whole french revival thing. Didn’t really work,” Rory said, and Jess chuckled a bit.

“So, what do you have picked out so far,” he said, following her to her bed where a tall stack sat. He filed through the stack, nodding his head. “Will these be Lorelai approved?”

“I think so. If not, she can come back here and choose herself. If she can’t find something good in here, I don’t know what to tell her.” Rory picked up the pile and put it on her desk. She stood there for a few moments, just staring down, before facing him. “Jess…”

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, and Rory raised her eyebrows. “I shouldn’t have left, any of the times. I’m so, so sorry. I wasn’t graduating, Luke kicked me out, my _Dad_ came after eighteen years and I just… I had to leave. I messed everything up here, I couldn’t stay.”

Rory took a second to take everything in, before whispering, “Why didn’t you say goodbye?”

Jess looked down. “I wanted the last memory I had of you to not be one where you were disappointed in me. It was selfish, I know, but-”

Jess stopped short as Rory practically lunged at him and kissed him with a force she didn’t even know she contained. He let himself relax, and snaked his arms around her, pulling her in close to him. They broke away, and Rory dipped her head down, blushing.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I-”

“I’m glad you did,” Jess whispered, bringing his hand up to her cheek.Rory smiled, and buried her face into his shoulder, content to just stand there with him for a while.

“Rory! Oh my God, you’re missing everything. Grab those CDs, and head back to the inn before you miss the cross- dressing midgets, that’s where the night is headed.” Lorelai’s voice faded as she ran up the stairs.

“Should I…” Jess said, motioning towards Rory’s bedroom door as Lorelai’s voice came back into earshot, talking about a naked Kirk.

“Oh, uh...” Rory trailed off, tensing a bit. She had no reason to feel guilty, but she was still nervous for her mother to find them.

“I have got to learn that, always, without fail, Kirk equals camera. Hey, what’s going on?” Lorelai said as Rory stepped out of her room, followed by Jess.

“Um, Jess is here,” Rory said. Lorelai noticed that both looked a little disheveled and her heart sank. 

“I’m gonna head off. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you,” Jess said to Rory, before slipping out of the kitchen.

“So, I’m almost done getting the CDs together,” Rory said as Lorelai made her way to her bedroom. “I picked a wide selection, so we’d have choices, and then I picked a bunch that probably only you will like, but it’s good to have options.” Lorelai looked into Rory’s room, and let out a breath to see that Rory’s bed was still made.

“So, uh, what was Jess doing here?”

“He came to see me at Yale,” Rory said, not really knowing where to go from there.

Luckily, Lorelai was happy to push the conversation on. “And? What did he want?”

“He, um, he asked me to leave with him,” Rory said. “I said no, at first, because I wanted to stay for your inn test run, but it was like my mouth was moving on its own and wasn't even listening to me I asked him when, and he said whenever I wanted, and then I realized _I_ wasn't listening to me when I had said no before, that I really do want this, and-”

“Rory, slow down. Am I hearing you right? You actually want to leave with him? What about Yale?”

“I’m not giving up Yale. I’d go back after the summer. But Mom, I want to do this. I’m still hung up on Jess, it hasn’t gone away. I have to go.”

Lorelai was quiet for a long time. “Do you love him?” she asked finally.

“I don’t know. I think so,” Rory said.

“I just… I don’t want you getting hurt,” Lorelai said softly.

“Neither do I. But if I don’t go, I’ll still hurt and I’ll never know.”

“I just…” Lorelai trailed off, and Rory looked down. “Have you... ?” 

Rory looked up, eyes wide. “Oh, God, no. Not yet. But, I think over the summer, I… might.”

Lorelai sucked in a breath, before smiling a bit. “Thank you. For, uh, telling me.”

“Really? That’s it?”

“I mean, there’s a ton of different thoughts flying around my head right now, but I think that’s the best one.”

Rory looked at Lorelai before smiling a bit. The conversation had gone far better than she would have thought.

“So…” Lorelai said. “Did you know Luke is a great kisser?”

“What?!”


	2. Take Off

"And I want to walk with you

on a cloudy day"

Norah Jones, Come Away With Me

"You're sure you have everything you could possibly need?" Lorelai said, holding her daughter's face in her hands.

"And then some," Rory replied, quickly glancing over to where Jess was standing. He looked awkward. She felt just the same. "I'll call you when I can, but I won't go without a week without talking to you, okay?"

"God, this is weird. I thought you leaving for college was strange, but this..." Lorelai trailed off. 

"I know, Mom." Rory stepped back a little and gestured to Jess' car. "I should..."

"Oh, yes. Want to get a head start. Only reason you would ever be up at such ungodly hours."

"It's eleven in the morning."

"And?" Lorelai smiled. "I'm gonna miss you, kid. Have a blast, call me if you need anything. I love you."

"I will. I love you, too. I'll miss you too, so much," Rory said, before noticing the worry in her mother's eyes. "I'm going to be okay," she whispered. "I'll call if anything happens, good or bad."

"Okay. Okay! Get out of here, before I chain you to the couch and force you to spend your summer with me instead," Lorelai said, and they both laughed as they hugged for a final time before Rory made her way to Jess.

"Ready?" he said, straightening from his slumped position against the door.

"If you are," Rory said.

Jess was expecting the car ride to be awkward, but despite all his mental preparation, he was not ready to experience it in the slightest. The two of them had not said a word to each other since they rolled out of the Gilmore driveway. Rory didn't even comment on any of the music, and Jess sure as hell wasn't going to make it more awkward by failing at small talk. He had no real idea of where he was driving through, but didn't want to ask. 

Rory looked straight ahead the entire time, watching the picture in front of her race towards them and then disappear. She finally tore her eyes from the road ahead to the little clock in the car, and noticed a little over an hour had passed.

"Where are we going?" she blurted out. She had never gone on a road trip without a plan. Even the spontaneous one her mother took her on years ago, she had something that resembled a plan. 

"Where do you want to go?" Jess responded, not shifting his gaze. Rory sighed.

"You can't answer a question with a question, Jess."

"Well, we just entered Rhode Island. We could drive around a bit, see if anything catches our eye?" he finally turned to look at her as the traffic slowed.

Rory nodded. "That sounds okay." There was so much she wanted to talk to him about, but couldn't bring herself to put into words. They had a brief chat a few days ago in her bedroom before Lorelai had come home, but they had barely scratched the surface. After the one push at a sensitive subject, about goodbyes and lack there of, it had all been superficial. They had been talking just to talk, just to fill up time and to avoid the giant elephant in the room.

She knew that eventually, they would have to talk- she was determined to communicate with him this time around, to not make the same mistakes of the past. But for now, she just turned up the radio.

Jess smiled.

"Ooo, how about the RISD Museum?" Rory asked. Jess had let Rory get out and run into some building to grab a brochure after watching her bump her knee nervously against the dashboard one too many times. "Its here in Providence, you can take a tour with a group or on your own, and every third Thursday of the month admissions is free. Today is the third Thursday! Jess, we have to go, it was fate!"

"Alright, alright, if it will appease you and your 'fate,' tell me how to get there and we'll see what it's all about," Jess said, and Rory gave him instructions.

Once inside the museum, they let themselves wander around for a bit. The museum was huge, and there were so many rooms to get lost in. Jess was never a super fan of art, but he had to admit that the different displays were amazing. Rory took her time meandering, stopping to stare at specific pieces and sculptures that captured her.

Jess felt more relaxed than he had in the car, but was still on edge. He had no idea where he and Rory stood, but wasn't about to ask. They had kissed, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. And yes, she had agreed to go on this trip with him, but he wasn't too keen on getting his hopes up about some epic love story exploding between the two of them. Jess was a realist. It protected him, it always had, and he was determined to base his expectations around what had happened in the past. And as much as he hated to think about it, the past was uglier than ugly. 

Rory turned to smile at him. Maybe he would let a little hope live in his heart.

"This is the greatest grilled cheese I've ever had. Don't tell Luke," Rory said, wiping a crumb from her bottom lip. They had decided to leave the museum just after four, and spent an hour wandering around providence before Rory's stomach lead them to a small, cheap diner. "I mean, maybe its just because I'm hungry, but I have never had a food experience quite like this."

"I'm glad you feel that way," Jess laughed. He wasn't going to lie, realist or not, he had missed this. Just sitting with her- with anyone really, but specifically her. He tried not to think about how Lifetime-y that sounded.

The conversation stuttered for a second, and Jess tried to fill the empty space. "So, uh, what after this? Are we walking more, or finding a place to sleep?"

"Oh, well, it's still pretty early yet. We could window shop some, look around some more before we hunker down." Jess nodded, but was suddenly very aware of the issue of sleeping situations. He figured two rooms would be the smartest bet. He sighed, and figured that those questions could wait until the time came.

"So, dessert?" he asked as Rory finished her sandwich.

"Is that even a question?"

Rory and Jess found themselves at a cheap hotel after what Rory deemed a "successful non-shopping trip". Jess had gotten two rooms, and Rory felt stupid for feeling a little dissapointed. She was pretty certain she knew where Jess stood, but sometimes it felt like she was completely wrong. 

"So," Jess said after walking her to her room, and Rory jumped a little, shaken out of her own thoughts so suddenly. Jess raised his eyebrows but continue on. "I'll see you in the morning. Just... bang on the walls or scream really loud if you need anything."

Rory laughed. "Goodnight Jess," she said, opening her door.

"Night Rory," he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fairly short chapter, but I'm trying to set the base for further chapters and Jess and Rory's very long road (pun intended) ahead. Reviews are encouraged!


	3. The Dun Duns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like to say, Happy 20th anniversary to Gilmore Girls! So weird to think about, two whole decades. Longer than I've even been alive. Okay, enough. On with the story.

“I’m a dreamer

I’m the dreamer,

I’m the dream girl

And I dream of you”

Josephine Foster, I’m A Dreamer

Rory eyes flew open, but she stayed laying down, taking in her surroundings. She couldn’t remember where she was for a few seconds, and then like a lightbulb being screwed in, it clicked. Road trip. Providence. Museum. Hotel. Jess.

 _Jess_.

Rory sat up and glanced at the clock. 8:21. She wondered if Jess was awake yet as she changed out of her pajamas. She wondered if she should knock on his door yet, or if he would come to her. So much wondering.

Luckily, she didn’t have to wonder very long. A knock came from the door just as Rory spit out her toothpaste. She rinsed her mouth and ran over to the door.

“Coffee?” Jess said, handing her a to go cup.

Rory just stared at him, unable to move. This simple act, so small in the grand scheme of things, made her heart flutter. She had gotten her coffee. Granted, he was holding his own cup in his other hand. But he was here. He got up, got dressed, and got _her_ coffee.

Rory knew Jess was not the doting type. He wasn’t when they dated, and while time can change a person, she doubted that Jess would ever reconstruct himself to become someone entirely new. She knew that these small acts, simple as they may be, were his way of showing his care. His love. 

“Thank you,” Rory said finally, grabbing the cup from him and moving to let him in. She was suddenly very thankful that she was a neat person, that clothes weren’t strewn across the hotel room. “Uh, what’s going on today? I mean, are we leaving?”

“Not much to do in Providence,” Jess said, shutting the door. “We could just drive, see where we end up.”

Rory blinked. “See where we end up?” Jess nodded. 

“What, you’ve never just driven for the hell of it?” Rory blushed, but she wasn’t quite sure why. “Here, zip up your suitcase. I’ll load our stuff into the car while you check out.”

“So, how do we know where we’re going if we don’t have a destination?” Rory asked. Jess smiled, tapping the steering wheel. “Don’t laugh! It’s a serious question.”

“Hey, no laughing here,” Jess answered. “Ror, the whole point of a spontaneous road trip is to be _spontaneous._ ”

“Ah, but this was not a spontaneous road trip. There were _days_ between the initial asking and the actual act. So, where are we going?”

Jess laughed. “Do you have an place in mind?” Rory was silent. “Then we’ll do this my way.”

Rory still didn’t speak, but couldn’t contain the small grin that spread over her face as she faced Jess. He looked at her and smiled. A real smile. There were more and more of them lately. It made her breath catch a little bit, her blood rushing to her cheeks. She turned back towards the road.

This was so confusing. And the most confusing part was that there was no _reason_ for it to be confusing. Rory knew where Jess stood. At least, she was pretty sure. And if she wasn’t positive on her own feelings before, they were evident now. 

But fear is a tricky thing. It settles in your bones, whispering things to you that haunt your dreams. What if it all came crashing down? It did the last time.

Rory closed her eyes. This was not last time. This was now. Who knew if it would be different. There was a chance. Rory was afraid of it not working, but she was more afraid of letting that chance slip through her fingers. 

“You okay?” Jess asked. Rory opened her eyes, and looked down at Jess’ hand covering her own. She flipped her hand, grasping his in hers, and squeezed it. No words needed to be spoken.

Jess drove down the Boston street, running his thumb over Rory’s hand. She had dozed off a while ago, but had never let go of his hand. He liked that. Such a small thing, and yet it made his whole world. What a strange thing.

He drove until he found some free parking. He looked at Rory for a second before taking his hand out of hers to turn off the car, which woke her up.

She blinked for a few seconds before lifting her head off the window. “Where are we?”

“Boston,” Jess said, grabbing his wallet from the center console and shoving it into his pocket.

“What’s in Boston?” Rory asked as she became more alert.

“Don’t know yet,” Jess said, opening his door. “Come on.” Rory sat in the car for a few seconds, before jumping out to join Jess.

“Figured we should look for breakfast. Coffee isn’t enough to hold over a Gilmore girl,” Jess said as he stepped onto the sidewalk. He went to put his hands in his pocket, but Rory grabbed his hand before he could.

“Breakfast sounds good,” she said. Jess smiled.

“I don’t think I’ve mentioned your hair yet. I like it,” Jess said. Rory blushed and took a gulp of coffee to hide it.

“Thank you,” Rory said, setting her cup down on the table. “Wanted a change. Everything else was changing, so why not my hair?”

Jess nodded. “It suits you.”

“I don’t know. I think I’m gonna grow it out.”

Jess nodded, unsure of what to say next. If he was a different person, he might say something along the lines of “You’re pretty either way.” But he was not a different person, and Jess Mariano was not good with words. So he let himself think it instead.

“So, where to next?” Rory finally said, finishing off her muffin. Jess blinked for a second, before the words registered in his brain, and he smiled.

“What do you not understand about ‘don’t know yet,’” Jess laughed. Rory shrugged. “We have all day, its not even eleven yet. We can just walk around, see where we end up.

“God, curse you and your free spirit,” Rory said, giggling a little. “Okay, I can deal with some walking.” Jess nodded, taking a bite of his toast, watching Rory stand up for another cup of coffee. He rolled his eyes.

Jess and Rory found themselves walking through the Massachusetts State House. There were tours available, but they opted to do it themselves.

After they left, they walked through the Faneuil Hall Marketplace- “Not to shop, just to look,” Rory said. They ended up getting a late lunch there, too, and then walking through the rest.

Rory was happy. Not just happy, but content. She liked the feel of Jess’ hand in hers, the comforting weight that reminded her that this was real life, not just an elaborate dream. She wasn’t going to wake up in Stars Hollow, alone. Her feet ached, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. He was with her.

For how long, she wasn’t sure. 

But doubt, at least right now, was no match for the unadulterated joy she felt. It probably wasn’t the wisest thing to do, pushing these feelings away, but it was a problem for future Rory. 

“What’s that?” she asked suddenly, eyes drawn to a large crowd gathering.

“I don’t know- do you want to go see?” Jess asked, and Rory nodded. They walked over, and realized there was a movie being set up.

“Do you a price anywhere?” Rory asked, but saw people filtering in and choosing spots without paying anywhere. “Or not, I guess.”

“Do you wanna stay?”

“I think it could be cool. Free is free,” Rory said, and Jess nodded.

They walked over to an empty area and sat down on the grass. “I hope the movie doesn’t suck,” Rory mumbled, leaning her head on Jess’ shoulder.

Jess froze for a second, but relaxed and slung his arm around Rory, pulling her closer.

“Jess?”

Jess turned to her, meeting her eyes. The look Rory had on her face was intense, almost to the point of scaring him. “What’s wro-”

Rory cut him off and kissed him, hard. He shifted, wrapping his other arm around her to bring her towards him.

She broke them apart, resting her forehead on his. “I’m really glad I came with you,” she said, slightly breathless.

“So am I,” he whispered.

“My feet have never hurt this bad in my life,” Rory said as she collapsed into the passenger seat. “And seriously? Jaws? I’m going to have the ‘dun duns’ stuck in my head until November.” 

Jess smiled and started the car. “Someone’s cranky,” he said, which earned him a gentle slap on the shoulder.

“Stop talking and find us a hotel,” Rory said, smiling in spite of herself.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Here,” Jess said, handing Rory’s small suitcase to her. He got out his own bag and shut the trunk. “Keys?” he asked, and Rory handed them to him so that he could lock the car. 

“So, I was thinking, if you’re feet hurt _that_ bad, we could always use the rest of our money on a hospital. It could be serious. You could have gout,” Jess said with a mock serious expression.

“Ha ha.”

“Or, if it’s really bad, I could run to the nearest hardware store and we could just saw them off.”

“You’re hilarious,” Rory said as they approached the front desk. “Hi, we're looking for a room?”

Jess instantly noticed the lack of plural form used. “Would you like a single bed, dear?” the lady- Valerie, her name tag read- asked her.

“Please,” Rory said smiling. Jess masked the surprise on his face, and watched as Rory paid for the room and took the key.

“Ready?” she said, and took off to the elevator before he could answer.

“This bed… heaven, Jess, I’m telling you!” Rory was sprawled out in the center of the bed with her eyes closed, smiling.

“Move over. I don’t particularly like the idea of sleeping on the floor.”

Rory sat up and scooched over. “Are you uncomfortable with sharing a bed? I thought… I should have asked you, I’m sorry.”

“Woah, when did I say I was uncomfortable?” Jess asked, sitting down next to her. She was wearing a black tank top, but her pajama pants had little cakes on them, which amused him. “Yes, its a little weird, but… I don’t mind, Ror,” he finished softly.

“Are you sure?”

“Hell, I would expect you to be more uncomfortable with it,” he said, running his hand through his hair.

“Oh, no! No, I’m not uncomfortable. I mean, obviously, I requested the single bed…” she rambled. “We can just… lay. Together. I don’t want to…”

Jess’ eyes widened. “God, no, Rory. I don’t expect that of you. Please don’t think I do.”

Rory sighed. “I know you don’t.” She laid back on the pillows, before looking at the clock. “Its late, and I’m exhausted, so I’m gonna go to bed. You can turn on the TV, or read, whatever. I can sleep through most things,” she said, grinning at him.

“Nah, I’m pretty beat myself,” he said, turning off the light and peeling back the covers to slide under them. 

Suddenly the room became too quiet, too fast. Rory scrambled for something to fill the silence.

“I don’t want to _yet_.”

_God._

“Yet?” Jess said, turning to her very suddenly. Rory stared at the ceiling, too self conscious to look at him. She closed her eyes tightly. _Really? That’s the best you could come up with? You wanted to_ get rid of _the awkwardness. Nice going._

“Yet,” Rory said finally, opening her eyes and forcing herself to turn towards him. “Not now, not soon even, I don’t think. But eventually, I want to do… it.” She gestured vaguely with her hand. “With you.”

Jess stared at her, and then nodded. This was a big step for her, to admit something so big to both herself and to him. “Okay,” he whispered, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Okay,” she whispered back, smiling and moving closer to him, allowing him to enclose her in his arms.

That night she dreamed of her, and Jess, standing at a rivers edge. It was nothing special, she couldn’t even pinpoint which river. But the thing she did remember, the thing she was glad to hold on to in the back of her mind, were the expressions on both of their faces as she watched the scene from a third person view. Large, pure smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be honest, I just looked up things to do for free in Boston and included what I thought would be cool. I have no idea if some of these things existed in 2004. Obviously some would have had to, but other events (aka the movie night- they exist now for free on Friday nights, but not so sure about then) I'm just going to say did for the sake of the story.  
> Reviews are encouraged :)


	4. Elysian Fields

“The smell of smoke would hang around this long

‘Cause I knew everything when I was young.”

Taylor Swift, cardigan

Rory woke up with her head pressed against something solid. She blinked for a second, gathering her thoughts, before realizing the solid thing she was leaning on was moving ever so slightly. Rhythmically. Up, down. Up, down.

She glanced up and looked at Jess’ face, unguarded in his state of sleep. It was still dark in the hotel room, but she could just make out his features as her eyes adjusted. At some point in the night he had rolled from his side to his back, but had kept his hold on Rory’s body. She studied his face, wanting to burn his image into her memory forever. 

He stirred a bit and she held her breath, but he just moved his head towards her and tightened his arm around her waist, all unconsciously. Rory smiled lazily and buried herself closer to him before letting sleep take her again.

Hours later, after the sun had made an appearance, Jess woke up with a weight on him. It was comforting, reassuring. She was here.  _ He  _ was here. 

He breathed out and trailed his fingers up and down her arm. She shifted and opened her eyes, blinking up at him.

“Morning.”

“Hmmph.”

Jess smiled and let a breathy laugh escape his lips. Maybe she's not a morning person.

“Don’t wanna leave,” Rory said, closing her eyes and snuggling closer to him.

“I’m pretty content here myself,” Jess said quietly. “But we gotta leave by three.”

“Time?”

“10:17.”

“Perfect. Sleep time,” Rory said. Jess said nothing, just listened as her breathing became more even again.

Jess never fell back asleep. He wasn’t tired, but more than that, he just liked listening to Rory breath, watch her facial expressions change slightly while she was dreaming. He felt weird doing that. Jess wasn’t usually one to stay in bed all day- he liked sleep, of course, but once he was up, he was up. But beyond that, he had the privilege of watching Rory Gilmore sleep. He had to remind himself that he  _ could _ . Rory had taken initiative.

Eventually, around 11:30, he unraveled himself from her carefully and went to take a shower. He welcomed the scalding water on his back, letting it ease out the tension that had built up from the anticipation of this trip as he rubbed body wash over his body. He washed the doubt out of his hair with the hotel brand shampoo. He stood when he was done for a few minutes, just letting the water run over him.

When he got out, clean and wearing fresh clothes, Rory was awake and making their bed. 

“Oh, you’re out. I’m gonna jump in, alright?” Jess nodded, and walked over to where his  suitcase was, putting his dirty clothes in the plastic bag Rory had given him (“You don’t want them getting mixed up with the clean ones, now do you?”). Rory passed him as she made her way around the bed and turned his head towards her with her hand, placing a quick kiss on his lips before disappearing into the bathroom.

Jess was stunned for a second, unable to move before he snapped out of it and finished packing up his suitcase. The entire thing felt incredibly domestic, and it scared the hell out of him. His childlike urges of bolting were rooted in him. He wasn’t happy about it, nor proud, but it was a fact. It was hard to shake something that seemingly defined him for so long just like that. But it was getting easier to push them back, to reject them when they popped up at him. But it was a comforting feeling, too, laced in with the fear. He'd always assumed he would not be one for a domestic life, and maybe he wasn't, but maybe he could lead a semi-domestic one. Maybe one day he would throw himself into being a family man, proving himself and everyone else wrong. ( _Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Mariano)._ He found himself liking the little hints of it it, which would have shocked a younger him.

Jess listened to the steady stream of water behind the bathroom door as he walked to the bathroom sink. He wanted to stay, rebellious urges be damned.

“Hey, do you have a passport?” Rory asked at the car. They were checked out and leaving half an hour before they had to, because Rory was anxious to get going.

“Uh, yeah. Glove box,” Jess said, unlocking the car. “Why?”

“No reason,” Rory said. “I’m driving today.” Jess looked at her as she handed him her suitcase.

“You sure?” he said, closing the trunk with a huff. Rory nodded, holding her hand out for the keys.

“Yes. You’ve driven both days. Its your turn to relax, thank you very much.” Jess sighed, and handed her the keys. “Thank you, sir. Now, get in.”

“Where to?” he asked once they had pulled out of the hotel parking lot.

“You’re a hypocrite, you know that?” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s a surprise. You don’t get to know. Besides, the  _ real _ destination I want to go to will take too long today, so we’ll have to tomorrow, maybe even the day after that.”

Jess nodded, but saw that she had directions on a little piece of paper that she must have written down while he was in the shower. “No peaking!” she exclaimed, laughing and facing the card away from him. “Turn on the radio, and re- _ lax. _ ”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, holding his hands up in mock surrender, before leaning back in the passenger seat.

Two and a half hours later, Rory pulled up to a small grocery store. Jess was asleep next to her.

“Jess,” she whispered, softly pushing on his shoulder. “Jess,” she said a little louder. Jess blinked and turned to face forward.

“We’re at a grocery store.”

“Very observant,” Rory said. “I’m going in for a few things. You can wait in the car, I just wanted to tell you in case you woke up and I wasn’t here.”

Jess rubbed his eyes and unbuckled his seat belt. “No, I’ll come in with you.” He got out of the car and joined her to walk into the small store.

“What are we getting?” he asked as she grabbed a basket.

“Food,” Rory said. Jess gave her a pointed look. “Probably stuff for sandwiches. So peanut butter, jelly, bread. I’d grab meat and cheese but we don’t have a cooler, so PB and J will have to do.” She walked to the bread aisle.

“Okay…” Jess said, walking behind her. 

“Ooo, chips too. Maybe some cookies,” Rory said, turning the corner. Jess asked no questions, just followed. “Oh, and of course water.” She turned around to face him. “Do you want soda? Why am I asking that. Everyone wants soda.” She kept walking, until finding a pack of water bottles and then a liter of Coke.

“Okay, okay,” Jess said finally, too intrigued. “What sparked the sudden grocery run?”

“I don’t want to eat out tonight,” Rory said vaguely. “Come on, lets go check out.”

Jess sighed.

“We’re here!” Rory said, turning off the car. “Come on, come on, come on.” She ran around the side of the car opening his door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Jess said, grabbing the grocery bags at his feet. “What’s the rush?”

“I’m just excited.”

“Okay. Where exactly is here?”

“Somewhere in the Hudson River Valley,” Rory said, opening the trunk and grabbing a blanket from a bag shoved in the very back.

“Uh huh… how long have you been planning this?” Jess asked.

“Before we left. I wanted to come with you here. Now, let’s go.”

“This is nice,” Rory said, making a second peanut butter and jelly sandwich for herself. Despite it being June, the air was cool, a slight breeze blowing through the grass. The field was open and empty, with Jess and Rory being the only ones there. 

“It is,” Jess said, taking a sip from his water bottle. “I’m glad you brought me here.”

Rory nodded. “We should come back in the fall. The trees are all orange and golden, its just so-”

“In the fall?”

Rory stared at him for a second, wondering what the question was.  _ Yes in the fall. I said the fall. You know, the season after sum- _

Oh.

Rory swallowed. “Yes, in the fall. Is that okay with you?”

“I think it sounds pretty nice.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Rory stared upwards. It was getting dark out, but there was still a hazy light cast over the sky. Logically, she knew they should leave soon. But to hell with logics, for now. This was good. All around good. She didn’t want to cut it short.

“I was thinking,” Jess said slowly, breaking the silence. Rory shifted her gaze sideways to look at him laying on the blanket next to her. “That after your trip tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, whatever. Since we’re in the state, we could go back to my apartment. Ride out the rest of June, a little bit of July. There are tons of stores that will look for temporary help. Find a job, get some money and then we can have the rest of summer to keep driving.”

Rory digested that. Spending a few weeks in Jess’ apartment wouldn’t be so bad. The opposite, actually. “That sounds like a good plan,” she said finally, turning on her side to face him. “It makes sense.”

“Okay,” he said. She could tell he wanted to say more. He still hadn’t faced her yet. She waited for him, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not a great place. I mean, its an apartment, but its small and pretty shitty. Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” she whispered. 

“I’m serious. Its probably smaller than your dorm at Yale.”

“So am I. Its really okay, Jess. You don’t have to… apologize, or anything.”

Jess nodded. He was quiet for a long time, but he grabbed her hand. Eventually, he sat up. 

“Are you ready to go?” Rory said, still lying down.

“Yeah. Its late. We should find somewhere to sleep. Big day ahead of us, didn’t you say?” Jess smiled.

“Yes! We should wake up early tomorrow,” Rory said, gathering the excess food back into the paper bags from the grocery store. 

“Funny, today I couldn’t get you to leave the bed.”

“Shush, mister.”

That night, Rory lay awake. Jess was asleep next to her, hand tangled in her hair. Her thoughts kept her up. Not bad ones, necessarily. Just thoughts.

She thought about how comfortable she was with Jess, already. A week ago, they were standing in her bedroom, talking about CDs and kissing before keeping their distance awkwardly. Two weeks ago, the last she’d seen of him he’d professed her love for her before speeding off.

Jeez.

Rory played with the ends of Jess’ hair, thinking of that night. If he’d stuck around, she probably would have said it back. Or at least they could have worked something out. Communicated. Communication, more specifically lack thereof, was the downfall of their relationship. 

Rory closed her eyes. It didn’t matter now. She was here, with him. He came back to her. She was glad. She had felt stupid when he left. Missed the smell of cigarette smoke, which had baffled her- she hated when he smoked, and yet found herself longing for the familiar scent after it was ripped from her so suddenly. She could feel everyone’s eyes, hear their thoughts.  _ I told you so, I told you so, I told you so _ .  _ We all told you so. We knew he was no good. You should have listened. _

But they didn’t know.  _ She  _ knew. She knew what he was like when he wasn’t angry at the world. She knew, even though it frustrated her, that underneath his rough exterior and the couldn’t-care-less attitude, he  _ was _ trying. It had been strange- she remembered people saying she was too young, which was weird, because they were the same age. She was “sweet, naive Rory Gilmore” who knew nothing of passionate love and bad boys, of a relationship so intense it left a permanent mark on her soul. And yet, despite being “too young,” she knew. She knew so much more than they thought she did, she knew more than  _ she _ thought she did. She knew everything. 

She knew him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's Chapter Four! It's very evident throughout this whole chapter that I was listening to the song I used in the beginning, especially at the end. What can I say. I'm a die hard Taylor Swift stan. Plus, literati and Taylor just makes sense.
> 
> Reviews are encouraged :)


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